I am trying to make my life more enjoyable and to make myself a better person. I want my life to be simpler, happier and healthier. First of all I need to lose weight. My starting weight was 220 lbs. I am down to 208. I had lost 15 pounds then gained 4 back and then lost 1 more. So here I am at 208 lbs. My goal is to get down to somewhere around 130 lbs but I will be extremely happy if I can get anywhere even close to that. I am also working on my depression and seeing a therapist. I almost feel like I am doing more for myself on my own than my therapist actually is but I will see how it goes.
I signed my divorce papers on Friday and my divorce should be final soon. I have mixed feelings. In a way it is like a relief. It is finally over after being broken up since November of 2009 and my husband was doing anything in his power to stop the divorce from happening but he has finally agreed. But I am also feeling sad because I do love him.... and it sucks that it had to end in divorce. I am thankful we are getting along and right now I have to focus on my life and making my daughter into a good happy healthy person. I am dating Sandy who is a girl and we are doing pretty good right now. We had some problems in the past and most of our problems right now are just lack of trust. I am confident we can get through this but when I make goals and plans for my life they need to be for ME and my daughter not anyone else. I was so low and felt like nothing good could happen to me. I am 26 about to be 27 years old and I have felt like I wasted my life and now I can never have anything I want(ed). I was wrong. I CAN do this. I just need to get a place to live and get a job for now. Most of my bad credit will be falling off soon and once I get everything figured out I will start paying off the newest stuff. Eventually in a few years I should be at a situation where I can buy a house in the country it will be great. I have alot more to say and I will say it later because I have to go.
